Perth-Bayswater
Rugby Union Football Club
|
Perth-Bayswater Rugby Union Football Club |
|
| ANNUAL DINNER A WINNER |
| 8 October 2001 |
One of the best annual dinners in recent memory was held at the Langley on Friday 5 October. The evening started with pre-dinner drinks and proceedings began with the presentation of new life members, Ray Goodall and Rick Boyd, and the club’s first ever female life members, Debbie Shelford and Mary MacDougall. The awards were presented throughout dinner and a few speeches made, notably an epic effort from Mike Jones that examined fifth grade in great detail. Dennis McLoughlin took out First Grade Best and Fairest, Bruce Mathieson the President's Cup, and Michelle Mathews and Grant Hutson were Clubwoman and Clubman of the Year respectively. Following the awards the dancing began and we have it on good authority that it continued until an indecent hour. Congratulations to Debbie Shelford and Michele Mathews on a superb job organising the dinner and judging by the excellent spirits shown (no, not the liquid sort) and the generally positive, enthusiastic atmosphere, the club is in great shape and we look forward to a first class year in 2002 both on and off the field.
| JJ GUTHRIE UNDER MURPHY'S LAW |
| 1 October 2001 |
First grade captain and lock Darren Murphy won the JJ Guthrie Award for the second year when he topped the poll for 2001 after the countdown at the clubrooms following the Annual Maori v The Rest game on 30 September.
Results:
Darren Murphy 58
Brett Watson 48
Gareth Cherrington 28
Tony Sproule 31
Ashley Murphy 18
Kyle Sproule 18
| WORLD XV TRIUMPHS |
| 1 October 2001 |
The Rest of the World team enjoyed a rare victory over the ever-threatening Maori team at his year's annual closing day carnival at Morley Reserve. Preceded by golden oldies, juniors and netball played in atrocious weather, the main game was one of the most entertaining and quality contests seen in some years. Steve McCormick's World XV used their forward muscle to lead the game from start to finish, scoring 2 tries to 4 over the flamboyant Maori XV. With combinations such as the Murphy brothers, the McLachlan brothers and the Sproule brothers, and a guest appearance from Zimbabwe Under 21 flyhalf Pepukai Gumbo, the World XV were too hard to stop and carried off the trophy for only the third time in the competition's twelve year history.
| ANNUAL GENERAL MEETING |
| 15 September 2001 |
Perth-Bayswater Rugby Union Fotball Club's Annual General Meeting for 2001/2002 will be held at the clubrooms on Sunday November 11 at 11:00 am. The meeting will include presentation of reports, annual financial statement and auditor's report, election of officers and general business. The traditional president's shout will follow. A quorm of 20 members is required and if there aren't enough people there we WILL come looking for you. You have been warned.
| ANNUAL DINNER AND PRIZEGIVING |
| 15 September 2001 |
The club's annual dinner and prizegiving for 2001 will be held on Friday night 5 October at the Novotel Langley Hotel, Perth. The evening begins with pre-dinner drinks at 7:00 pm and continues with meal (full buffet, beer, wine and softdrink included), presentation of trophies and dancing until midnight. Cost $75:00 per person. For tickets call Debbie Shelford on 9279 9934 a/h.
| ANNUAL CLOSING DAY AND JJ GUTHRIE AWARD |
| 15 September 2001 |
Perth-Bayswater will again close the season with our annual family day, featuring the customary celebration of the international flavour of the club with the Maori v The Rest of the World rugby match. The event will be held on Saturday 29 September at Morley Reserve, begining at 1 pm with a Top Town style contest. Juniors, netball and golden oldies matches will follow with the main game, Maori v The Rest of the World at 3 pm. A hangi will be served at 4 pm and at 4:50 pm there will be a very short Special General Meeting to consider the nomination of Life Members. At 6:00 pm the countdown to the JJ Guthrie Award will begin, to find the best and fairest first grade player for 2001, as selected weekly by three independent judges. This will be followed at 7:00 by the night's entertainment until late.
| GARETH TAKES TOP COLT AWARD |
| 13 September 2001 |
Congratulations to first grade openside flanker Gareth Cherrington, who received the Western Australian Rugby Union Colt of the Year Award at the union's annual PG Hampshire Dinner last night. A product of the club's juniors, Gareth has proved to be a dynamic force for first grade in 2001. He was oustanding in the State Under 21 tour of New Zealand in June and July and in 1999 was selected for the Australian Division II national schoolboys team. Gareth's success retains the trophy for Perth-Bayswater as fellow first-grade player Darren Murphy collected the Award in 2000.
| NEDDIES FALL FOR CUNNING PLOY |
| 9 September 2001 |
After a week off to further hone their athletic skills to peak performance, the crack unit of Filthy FIFTHS was back in action at the Major Semi-final at Perry Lakes. The Nedlands stars of stage and screen fell right into the trap with a try after 8 minutes and a second after 12, little suspecting they were playing right into the hands of master tactician Mike "the Prince of Whales" Jones. Fabulous Fifths' frighteningly fit forwards rushed the Neddies defence to score a try shortly thereafter with an awesome rolling maul that would have given Buck Shelford a hard-on. Five minutes later the Neddies boys in their lovely royal blue jerseys scored a try before Hoggy kept up the pretence with a penalty for a 17-8 half time score. After half time Fabulous Fifths were looking a bit useful and threatening the game plan so master coach Jonesy brought himself on, and as play-makers regularly do, turned the game around in minutes. His failed attempt to deflect a kick for touch back into play, "accidentally" giving Neddies the throw-in to the lineout in the process, was poetry in motion. Nedlands scored a try from this and the game plan was safe again. Although Fantastic Fifths forgot themself enough to score 12 more points they cunningly conceded 24 points to Neddies thereby guaranteeing the 46-20 loss and assuring Neddies of a complacent ride into the grand final. The reverse happened last year and Fifths won a storming major semi final only to go down to Neddies in the grand final. Jonesy's brilliant plot is now sure to succeed and set up a dastardly ambush on an unsuspecting Neddies in the grand final. They are sure to be no match for this kind of genius. It hardly needs saying that the preliminary final against Wests next week is simply a formality. The game was ably reffed by WARU Supreme Commander Rick Smith, who obviously knows how to pick and choose the upper echelon of matches to adjudicate.
The mighty black machine at work — the forwards drive over for a try.
| ONE UP ONE DOWN |
| 27 August 2001 |
With the finals foregone conclusions for most grades, interest in the final competition round centered on third grade and fifth grade. Thirds had to win to make the final spot and fifths had to win with a bonus point to take the minor premiership title.
FIRST GRADE finished the year with a typical display, losing 28-10 to Wests Subiaco at Rosalie Park.
SECOND GRADE lost to Wests 29-0. It was only 10-0 at half time and it was only late in the game the Wests built up a flattering scoreline.
THIRD GRADE kept their supporters on tenterhooks for most of this game, trading penalties for a 3-3 score until late in the half when Wests went ahead with a converted try to lead 10-3. That score remained for most of the half and although Wests dominated possession and territory, thirds were not without their chances. It was not until the final five minutes that Wests scored two late tries to win 20-3. It was a brave end to the season for Barry Guzder's third grade, who came back from relative obscurity to win six games in a row, and topple three of the eventual finalists in the process. The loss to Wests left them one spot short of the finals but with top marks for a fighting finish to the year.
The usual FOURTH GRADE consisting of tired fifth and third graders went through the motions against Wests, conceding 68 points to 0 in the process.
Fabulous FIFTHS, the team that launched a thousand chips, wrapped up their triumphant year with an inspiring win over Soaks, needing a win with four tries for the bonus point to stay one step ahead of the Nedlands All-Stars and bring home the minor premiership. The four tries were achieved in the first 15 minutes of the game as a revved-up Fifths ran at, through, around and over a shell-shocked Soaks team. Tries went to the Flying Fridge, Noel Spittal, on the wing; dynamic flanker Ian Hogg; Dirty great policeman Darren "Truncheon" Horne and tackle-busting centre Shaq the Black Attack. Hoggy added three conversions as the team powered to a 21-5 lead. Secret weapon Eric Dodd came on the wing and immediately gave all the girls on the sideline a thrill when a suspect Associates tackle from behind removed his shorts and undies. Well, you know what they say about those Soaks boys. Despite being caught with his pants down Eric the Red-faced managed to deliver the ball to Hoggy for a try. Constable Horne had a stern word to him about obscene exposure and Eric returned to the field with a pair of shorts hastily borrowed from the Fridge, who had retired with a shortness of breath and a raging thirst. Half timed saved Soaks from further embarrassment but the points-scoring machine was soon back in action with wing Adrian Hughes (satisfied now Adrian?) on the receiving end of a big cut out pass and a try in the corner. Soaks made a bit of a come back with a try to trail 36-10 but Shaq and the Truncheon were soon over the line as the score mounted to 48-10. Coach and strategic genius Mike "Phil Bennett" Jones cunningly brought himself on for a difficult kick dead in front of the posts to convert the Constable's try. The last word belonged to Eric Dodd with a final runaway try and a glorious 53-10 win. Congratulations to Mike and the boys for a brilliant year where the quality of rugby played was exceeded only by the quantity of beer drunk and bullshit talked by Japie.
| WHAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN |
| 13 August 2001 |
Perth-Bayswater first grade bounced back from their loss to Rockingham with another fine performance against competition leaders Cottesloe. History will record the 2001 season as largely unsuccessful for Perth-Bayswater first grade, but all the competition front runners have been fully extended by the men in black. With a little depth and a little polish this could have been a very different season. Cottesloe scored first with a try after 15 minutes but Perth-Bayswater remained fiercely competitive in the forwards although heavily outweighed, and the backs frequently embarrassed the fancied Cott backline. Centre Bronson Te Aute replied with a try withing three minutes after a big break-through by inside centre Tony Sproule. Wing Damian Milich converted to lead 7-5. An appalling refereeing decision restored Cott to the lead when referee Patching gave them a try when the ball was dropped a metre short of the line. A penalty kick to Damian Milich just before half time equalised for Perth-Bayswater, going into the break 10-10. Perth-Bayswater maintained their equality of territory and possession in the second half but failed to contain the slick Cott backline, conceding a penalty, two tries and a conversion to trail 25-10 with minutes on the clock. Fullback Brett Watson scored a consolation try from a clever set move after a 5m scrum but Cott had the last word with two quick late tries to win 39-17.
Second grade have never looked the team of former years all season and this was especially true in the game against Cottesloe at Harvey Field. The shortage of players seemingly affecting most clubs hit home hard and only with the help of third graders and fifth graders did second grade field a team. If the playing complement was not what is has been, the attitude was faultless. Seconds were committed and uncompromising throughout, scoring a penalty to flyhalf Steve Wharerau and centre Shaq finishing off a fine team attack started by big prop Beau Tune. Steve Wharerau converted for a 10-0 lead. Cottesloe came back for a lengthy period of attack in the second half and emerged with a converted try, but seconds held on grimly until the final whistle for a stirring 10-7 win. Man of the Match was named as the entire team.
Thirds extended their unbeaten run with a good 27-0 win over Cottesloe third grade, although from the shakiest start with players missing and last-minute substitutes hurried on to the field. The team performed well above themselves and took the game to Cott, scoring tries to Dean McKillop, Ken Angus, Callum, Craig Robertson and Hector George, with one conversion to Steve Nicholson. The score was 5-0 at half time. Men of the Match were Rob, Mark and Jarrod. All eyes are now on the make-or-break match with Wests next week for a spot in the finals.
Fourth grade recorded a 43-17 loss to Palmyra but no details are available yet.
Fifths grade won by forfeit over Palmyra.
| OH DEAR OH DEAR |
| 4 August 2001 |
With nothing to play for and seemingly little interest just which anonymous also-ran spot they filled in the lower reaches of the competition table, Perth-Bayswater First Grade plunged to yet another embarrassing loss to Rockingham, 29-23. The camel train is not back yet so details are sketchy, and if destiny is kind they will always remain so.
Details are even more sketchy for second grade but we have been assured they won.
Barry Guzder`s third grade recorded their fifth win on the trot, over Rockingham 22-5. More details as they come to hand.
The continuing Lazarus act by Mike Te Aute`s fourth grade, which even managed a handful of reserves with fifth graders and third graders returning from Rockingham, was not miraculous enough to prevent the huge Soaks fourth grade from running through them to the tune of 36-0. Man of the Match was capable flyhalf Richard Sugden.
The fabulous elite athletes of fifth grade recorded their eighth consecutive victory with a 27-17 win over Wests at Rosalie Park. Tries were scored by team legend Duane the Train Barr, the Kingaroy Express (2); Steve Weed Scholes, Mike Plaister and Handsome Danny Vella (sponsored by Swan Breweries). A series of failed kicks prompted the grand master, coach Mike "the Prince of Wails" Jones, to take over the kicking for the only conversion of the day. The half time score was 10-7. Special mention must go to the courageous charge for the undefended line by star prop Sean Ponderous Ormrod-Healy-Carruthers, only to be run down from behind by a plodding lock. But as Ponderous tells us, everyone behind the front row is a homosexual, so that probably explains that. Man of the Match was Luke Jardine, which delighted Dad Chris Faeces Jardine no end until he found out the grand prize for this honour was washing the team jerseys.
| FROM RAGS TO RICHES |
| 30 July 2001 |
Perth-Bayswater first grade finally ended their second-round drought, and in style with a healthy 44-3 margin — although the opposition was a depleted but gallant ARKs team. Fullback Brett Watson opened the scoring within minutes of the kick off with a try in the corner. In constant rain at Morley Reserve, Perth-Bayswater enjoyed an indifferent first half with errors and wrong options abounding. ARKs replied with a penalty but prop Ash Murphy also landed three for Perth-Bayswater before wing Bronson Te Aute scored a try for a half time score of 19-3. Another Ash Murphy penalty after the break took Perth-Bayswater out to 22-3. As the men in black improved their handling and finishing the tries started coming, with lock Gareth Cherrington, Brett Watson, Bronson Te Aute and Richie Anderson all crossing for five-pointers. Flyhalf Jason Ellery kicked one conversion to round out the 44 points. Man of the match was hyperactive halfback Kyle Sproule.
Second grade was unfortunately forfeited by ARKs, and we wish them success in rebuilding their club to field full teams in all grades.
Third grade`s 49-15 win over ARKs at Morley Reserve in the rain keeps them on course, with a bonus point under their belts, for a showdown with Wests for the final spot in the third grade semi-finals. Wests are now 4 points ahead and with both teams facing a couple of easy games until they meet on August 25 it should all come down to the final game. In Sunday`s game, tries went to Sean Lingham (3), Patrice (2), Noel Spittall and Hek, with Steve Nicholson making up the balance with kicks, and all without a kicking tee. The game was harder than the score might suggest, and thirds were ahead only 19-10 at half time. Man of the match was Sean Lingham.
Fourth grade fielded a stronger combination for their game against Cottesloe at Morley Reserve and ran out the winners 22-0. Tries went to fullback Steve Nicholson (2), flyhalf Steve Wharerau and hooker Richard Sugden with one conversion to centre Nathan Haturini. Man of the Match was Steve Nicholson.
Fifths squeezed in a 17-16 win over Wanneroo at Morley Reserve, the Wanneroo side looking a little more robust than their usual fifth grade lineup. The fact that Wanneroo`s first and second grade district sides did not play due to forfeits would surely be nothing more than coincidence. Tries were scored by ace centre and team secret weapon Duane the Train Barr, the Kingaroy Express; Darren "Truncheon" Horne and Paul "Slim" Sefton. The winning points were added by master goal kicker and Welsh wizard Mike Jones. Cited for dedication above and beyond the call of duty was Chris "Faeces" Jardine for his tackle right into a pile of dog poo. He was not welcome in the scrum following this unseemly incident. Oscar of the day goes to Grant "Fungus" Phillips for his impression of an injured rugby player and Man of the Match was Steve "Weed" Scholes for some prodigious kicks that almost reached the sideline.
| BACK TO SQUARE ONE |
| 22 July 2001 |
Perth-Bayswater first grade took a big step backwards with a second half collapse in their game against Nedlands at Morley Reserve, eventually succumbing 45-3. It was business as usual in the first half, with a robust and forceful performance by the men in black, despite scrum problems and a shortage of possession. Wing Damian Milich opened the scoring with a penalty kick five minutes into the game and the 3-0 score remained until just before half time when Nedlands finally broke through for a try in the corner. Trailling just 5-3 at the break the scene looked set for anther gritty encounter from a capable young Perth-Bayswater team and a Nedlands outfit clinging to a spot in the top four. Instead Nedlands piled on 40 more points in the second half with play leaving the Perth-Bayswater 22 only for the kick offs. Resistance was minimal as Perth-Bayswater barely went through the motions. Man of the Match was Ashley Murphy.
Second grade was well on the way to taking out the competition top team with a fighting second half comeback in their 21-13 loss at Morley Reserve, remarkable considering most of the team are either former third graders or had already played another game that day. It was all Nedlands in the first half, scoring three unanswered tries to lead 21-0 at half time. Second grade turned up the pressure in the second half with a penalty to inside centre Nathan Haturini, followed by a try to wing Hugh Williams converted by Nathan Haturini for a 21-10 score. Nathan kicked another penalty to take the score up to 21-13 when the referee mysteriously blew the second half up after 30 minutes. Man of the Match was Bruce Paerata.
Third grade continued an inspiring hat-trick of wins with a 23-15 triumph over the number two team in the grade. Coach Barry Guzder and his boys are to be commended, especially considering this is a scratch team with fifth graders backing up. Wing Matt Stuart opened the scoring with a try, converted by fullback Steve Nicholson, who then added a penalty as the lead see-sawed back and forth, with errors from both teams, Nedlands going ahead to lead 15-13. A width of the paddock backline move put centre Sean in for a try to snatch the lead 18-15 and some anxious moments followed as Thirds defended their narrow lead grimly. A late tap penalty brought a second try to Matt Stuart to wrap the game up 23-15. Man of the Match was inside centre Callum Anderson. Coach Barry Guzder commended the leadership of legendary number eight Ken Porridge Angus and the relentless commitment of hooker Lincoln Hefferen, and gave his congratulations to the team who have now knocked off most of the top sides in this grade.
In what will probably be the final game for fourth grade this year, fourths put out another desperately last-minute team of fifth and third graders and were competely routed by Nedlands 75-17. The score was 47-7 at half time with a try to halfback Callum Anderson. Fourths scored two more tries in the second half, a second to Callum Anderson and one to Rangi Rongonui. Man of the Match was again Callum Anderson.
Fabulous Fifths added to their endless string of stirring triumphs with yet another win over the Mt Lawley Jesters, but made hard work of it with a late try taking them to a last-minute win 24-17. The forwards had a lethargic day and team undoubtedly suffered from the guidance and wisdom of Mike the Legend of the Valleys Jones who is away on holiday, the slacker. Tries went to Weed, Shaq, Ian Hogg and Noel the Flying Fridge Spittal, with two conversions from the golden boot of Hoggy. No mention at all will be made of the several tries blown by Adrian "Sticky-fingers" Hughes dropping balls with the line wide open. The saving of the team was undoubtedly moving star hitman Crocodile Bob Cooper to number eight. Man of the Match was Hoggy.
| IF ONLY |
| 15 July 2001 |
Perth-Bayswater`s "if only" season continued at Morley Reserve with a tight 16-5 loss to Kalamunda. Kalamunda opened with a try, answered by a try to prop Thomas Hughes from a forward rush in the corner. On the half hour Kalamunda posted their second try for a half time score of 10-5. Kalamunda went further ahead midway through the second half with a penalty kick. Inexplicably, two penalties for Perth-Bayswater in kicking range were ignored in favour of kicks for touch, and unbelievably both of them went out in goal. Kalamunda`s share of possession increased as the match continued and although Perth-Bayswater did have their chances it was always an uphill battle with mimimal ball. Kalamunda wrapped up the game with a late penalty for the 16-5 win and another relatively close loss for the men in black, who continue to show they have the ability to foot it with the competition leaders, but lack the knockout punch to take them into the top half of the table.
Centre Nathan Haturini hogged the opening points with a try from phase play and a conversion, giving seconds a 7-0 lead after 15 minutes. Nathan increased the score to 10-0 with a penalty kick 15 minutes later but Kalamunda had the last word for the half with a try and a 10-5 score at the break. The second half was a different story, with some personnel changes and less urgency in seconds` play. Early in the half Kalamunda added a converted try as referee Chapman caned seconds with penalties, some of which were highly imaginative. A penalty to wing Michael Whitney regained the narrowest of leads at 13-12 but with Kalamunda increasingly controlling possession the cause became increasingly desperate. Two late tries to Kalamunda with minimal defence out wide completed the rout and a game which was well in hand was surrendered with little resistance. Man of the Match was livewire halfback Troy Morgan.
For the second week in a row third grade showed how it was done with a stirring 20-17 win over Kalamunda. Again fielding a scratch team at short notice, thirds immediately took the back foot as Kalamunda scored early in the half for a 5-0 lead. Thirds replied in short order with a 15 minute purple patch that started with a try to flanker Andrew Bartlett as a wave of forwards breached the Kalamunda line to equalise at 5-5. Minutes later wing Matt Stuart scored on the blind side to increase the lead to 10-5 and soon afterwards flyhalf Jason Hill scored another following an enterprising kick ahead from halfback Graham Marks, who had a great game, for a 15-5 lead which remained until half time. Kalamunda scored first in the second half with a converted try to come close at 15-12 but a try to wing Sean Lingham following stolen lineout ball took thirds ahead 20-12. Kalamunda made most of the play for the remainder of the game as thirds suffered some injuries and went desperately seeking fifth graders to fill the gaps in the ranks. A soft try was conceded to Kalamunda out wide for a close 20-17 score and late in the half the brave Kalamunda lads opted for a penalty kick for a draw but the touch judges disagreed on the kick and the referee ruled it unsuccessful. Thirds hung on for the 20-17 win. Coach Barry Guzder said the boys played their hearts out and thanked Darren Truncheon Horne and Noel the Fridge Spittal for filling in with distinction. Man of the Match was Andrew Bartlett.
Fourth grade again managed to field a team in unlikely circumstances for a game 24-8 loss to Palmyra. The try was scored by R. Rongonui and the penalty kicked by Shane Jaret-Brown. It was 12-3 to Palmyra at half time. Man of the Match was Jason Hill.
With most of the gods and legends of Nedlands Fifth Grade attending church, they were unfortunately forced to forfeit their game against the supremely gifted athletic squad that is Perth-Bayswater Fifths. A mixed game was organised by way of substitute with a "score" in the region of 47-22 to Fabulous Fifths. Tries were scored by any number of persons but we are reliably told (by Japie) that Wayne Japie Campbell kicked five conversions in a touching tribute to his personal hero John Eales. Kelly Westaway succumbed to the financial inducements of Nedlands, as have many Perth-Bayswater players over the years, and turned out in a blue jersey. It was even reported that he managed a sidestep although considering it was Finky he sidestepped that is no more a feat than sidestepping the Morley Recreation Centre. We hope that Nedlands can recover from this humiliation to field a team for their ultimate demise in the finals.
| GAY RUGBY RULES OK |
| 8 July 2001 |
Welcome to Perth, gay rugby capital of the world. The sooner Perth gets a Super 12 team the better, so that the local rugby set-up, which lives on its own strange little planet, can get some exposure to real rugby. How wonderful it would be to see a fat opposition player, lying on the wrong side of a ruck killing the ball, get the living bejesus rucked out of him for his trouble without some precious WA ref whistling up a sin bin or a send off. In yesterday`s 18-8 loss to Palmyra, hooker Brendam McKeagg was sin binned in yet another of a series of soft, weak decisions that would be laughed at anywhere but this sad little backwater. The referee can`t take all the blame for the score though, Perth-Bayswater were largely masters of their own demise. But whatever whistleman Patching was doing at the ground yesterday had little to do with the laws of rugby. Palmyra lived offside all day and the rucks and mauls were a lottery. Paly started well with a try and followed with a second when a forward pass went unnoticed. Wing Damien Milich put Perth-Bayswater on the scoreboard with a penalty on the half hour, followed shortly by Paly`s third try in the corner to lead 15-3. Elusive centre Kere McMillan set up dazzling fullback Gary Rutene for a try as Perth-Bayswater finally got on top of their game and they finished the half strongly on attack, 15-8 in arrears. The second half was all Perth-Bayswater as they camped in Paly`s half and attacked relentlessly. Despite the huge advantage of territory and possession they lost opportunities, blew scoring chances and did everything but finish off the hapless opposition so that the only score for the half was a sole Paly penalty for a final losing score of 18-8. After coming close to most of the competition leaders and looking ready and able to become a real threat, Perth-Bayswater now show they are capable of losing to lesser opposition with equal aplomb.
Fourth-placed seconds competed strongly but failed to seize control of this game against six-placed Paly. Paly started with a penalty before bullocking wing High Williams charged down the sideline for a try and a 5-3 lead. Paly regained the lead with a second penalty, and wrapped up a tight, even half with a try and third penalty to go ahead 14-5. Early in the second half a big forward rush following a tap penalty realised a try, probably to big loosie Clint. Centre Nathan Haturini converted to close the score up to 14-12. Seconds continued to attack strongly throughout the half but failed to take control. Instead it was the weedy Paly winger who weaved his way through seconds` defence for a try against the run of play, capping off his achievement with a gymnastic leap that would have done the Olympic girls diving team proud. The try was converted and the game ground to a conclusion with out further score for a 21-12 loss. Man of the Match was wing Hugh Williams. The game was well refereed by Rick Smith.
Third grade celebrated the absence of their coach, Barry Poppadum Guzder, on holiday in Bali, with the tightest of wins, 16-15, over previously unbeaten competition leaders Palmyra. Number 8 Ian Hogg scored a try and fullback Hek kicked a conversion and three penalties. Thirds led 10-0 at half time. It was a good game with control in the set pieces and plenty of commitment from basically a makeshift team. Captain and hooker Lincoln Hefferin gave 100% as usual, the team welcomed Kenny the Scot back from his overseas wanderings. Stand out performers were fill-in fifth graders Ian Hogg and Man of the Match, centre Dwayne the Train Barr, the Kingaroy Express. Gracious in defeat, a Paly player remarked sourly that their team had only lost because a number of fourth grade players were on the field. How embarrassing for them to learn that the Perth-Bayswater third grade that had just ended their unbeaten season included more than a handful of our fifth graders.
Fourths forfeited to Wests and the future of this grade remains highly open to question as the players just aren`t there to make up the numbers. Unfortunately Paly`s fifth grade forfeited as well, which left the club without two games in the lower grades.
| THE BRIDESMAID SEASON |
| 1 July 2001 |
Perth-Bayswater First Grade continued their rebuilding season with another unfortunate and close loss, 21-23 to University. The first half was an inconclusive tussle with Uni emerging with a converted try to lead 7-0 at the break. Early in the second half number eight Willy Rewiti stormed over for a try following a sharp break by fullback Brett Watson. Uni extended their lead with a penalty but wing Damian Milich answered with a penalty to restore the margin. Blindside flanker Brendan McKeagg went over out wide to snatch Perth-Bayswater the lead at 13.10, and the team enjoyed a healthy attacking period when the line was at their mercy several times. Over-eagerness deprived them of scores from these opportunities and Uni came back with two penalties to draw ahead 16-13. A towering drop goal from Brett Watson late in the half levelled the scores again. With time running out Uni broke through for a final converted try to lead 23-16, answered by a try to halfback Tony Sproule who cut through the Uni defence from a tap penalty. The conversion was not successful and the result remained at 23-21, much to University`s relief. Man of the Match was Brendan McKeagg. The game was ably reffed by Barty Hallowell.
Second grade got back in the winners circle with a 24-13 defeat of University at Morley Reserve. Tries were scored by Gary Rutene, Michael Whitney (2) and Hek. Inside centre Nathan Haturini kicked two conversions. The team excelled in the set plays and worked the ball well out wide although both teams suffered from poor hands. After a slow first half Seconds found their rythym in the second half with good support and effective combinations and finished strongly. Man of the Match was centre Tony Chase.
A depleted and neglected third grade struggled to field a team against University but despite injuries and players out of position, put up a worthy contest in their 21-15 loss. The general malaise that seems to be affecting most WA clubs this year has struck home hard at Perth-Bayswater and coach Barry Guzder fielded a third grade team only with the help of ring-ins from fourths and a few miscellaneous irregulars. Thirds competed strongly for most of the game, holding Uni to 7-7 at half time and leading 12-7 midway into the second half. But the match took its toll and thirds conceded 14 points as they limped to a disppointing finish with only 9 men remaining on the field. Tries went to Michael Whitney and Macca, and Michael Whitney kicked a penalty and a conversion. Man of the match was inspirational captain Lincoln Hefferin.
Fourth grade continued to defy the odds and fielded a team of sorts against Soaks, some of the players playing their third game for the day and some playing their first ever game of rugby. They were losing 31-0 at half time and rounded out the game 57-10 in arrears. Tries went to Matt Stuart and Clinton Tangiora. Man of the Match was Anthony Gannon. Congratulations to coach Mike Te Aute and manager Michelle Matthews for perservering in the face of adversity but perhaps now is the time to concede to the inevitable.
Mike Jones` team of elite athletes scored another inspirational victory over University, 38-7. In a glorious personal best testimony effort, Dwayne the Train Barr, the Kingaroy Express, streaked in for three big tries. Other tries went to Shalako Gardiner, Danny Vella and Mike Plaister. A special welcome to Mike`s Dad who is visiting from New Zealand and delicately balanced the duties of linesman and photographer - don`t say we never involve spectators at Perth-Bayswater. Also noted, the touching father-son act of Chris and Luke Jardine. Former Maori All Black Dick also scored a try, although his credentials are being questioned in light of him passing the ball when he could have scored himself, and handing his jersey back in after the game. Master coach and strategic genius Mike Dai Llewellyn Jones placed himself at fullback for the match for a better overview of proceedings and helped the team along with four conversions. The fact that none of this adds up to the score the referee recorded is due entirely to the poor eyesight of the gentleman in white. Man of the match was Dwayne the Train.
| ROBBERY AT ALLEN PARK |
| 24 June 2001 |
The better team lost when second-ranked Associates stumbled to the luckiest of wins, 17-10, over Perth-Bayswater, aided and abetted by a blindingly officious refereeing display by whistleman Brendan Fitzgerald. Perth-Bayswater played from the start with fire and passion, completely dominating a lethargic, mistake-ridden Soaks team. Nevertheless it was Soaks who scored first with a try against the run of play to lead 5-0 at half time. Wing Bronson Te Aute set the Perth-Bayswater supporters alight with a dazzling run from half way after scooping up loose ball and sprinting clear to the line. Bronson converted for a 7-5 lead as Perth-Bayswater pinned Soaks in their half and attacked their line relentlessly. Bronson added a penalty taking Perth-Bayswater ahead 10-5. A second breakout threatened to raise the score but was stopped with desperate tackles by Associates, and an overlap with the line wide open failed to realise points when the ball was knocked on in the final phase. The loss of this try turned the game and Soaks came back in the final minutes on the back of a string of penalties from referee Fitzgerald. A try to Associates followed as penalty after penalty kept Perth-Bayswater defending their own line, equalising at 10-10 and almost immediately Soaks scored a kick and chase try and conversion to go ahead 17-10. Although the team left the field with the scoreboard against them they have every right to feel the game was theirs in every other sense and they are to be commended for their play. Both teams had players missing on representative duties and injuries. Man of the match was captain Dennis McLoughlin.
A second grade looking more like third grade can feel desperately unlucky with their 12-11 loss to an undeserving Soaks team at Allen Park. Soaks started strongly and had most of the first half play but Nathan Haturini kicked a penalty after 30 minutes for seconds to score first. Soaks replied with two tries and a conversion before half time to lead 12-3 at the break. A new enthusiasm gripped seconds in the second half and a classic backline attack saw wing Michael Whitney sprinting in for a try out wide. Seconds took control of the game and attacked with vigour and ability, but despite carving Soaks apart a number of times were unable to score. Referee Steve Chapman was consistent throughout in that every ruck ball went Soaks` way regardless of who took it in or was going forward at the time. A penalty to flyhalf Steve Wharerau took them close at 12-11 but Soaks clung to their one point lead until the final whistle. As usual they celebrated their improbable good fortune with the world`s most inane club song.
Third grade made no mistakes in their solid 24-10 win over Soaks, providing some cheer for Perth-Bayswater supporters who were able to enjoy the better team actually winning. Tries went to Michael Whitney, who played superbly at flyhalf, lock Josh Fink, wing Matt Stewart and wing Steve Evans. Michael Whitney kicked two conversions. Flanker Andrew Bartlett also enjoyed a powerful game despite injury but it was barnstorming number eight Hector George who received the Man of the Match award.
Fourth grade forfeited their game against Nedlands at Nedlands for the first time this season, although most of their games have been scratch affairs proceeding only with the aid of third and fifth grade players backing up for second games. The club does not have the players for this grade this year and with the season only at the half way mark the wisdom of perservering must be seriously questioned.
The club`s ace strike team continued their run of success with a stunning 21-7 win over the old hacks from Soaks. Tries went to arthritic prop Kelly Westaway, Dwayne the Train Barr, and Adrian Hughes who played as though he was a completely new man. Coaching wizard and legend of the valleys Mike "JPR" Jones played a sensational game at fullback and kicked three conversions. It was a spirited but disjointed display by the athletic wonders of Filthy Fifths and they should have won by more. Player of the day was the enigmatic Mr T although Japie again got the jerseys to wash on the grounds that if he used his jaw muscles less he might have more energy to use in his leg muscles.
| AN UPHILL BATTLE |
| 11 June 2001 |
First grade continued their uphill battle for parity with the competition finals contenders, losing to Wests Subiaco 9-24 in occasional rain at Perry Lakes on Sunday. There is technically nothing stopping Perth-Bayswater from footing it with the leading teams bar a bit of finishing. The Wests team also included a few faces that seemed more familiar in black, such as long-standing wing Craig Barrett. Wests were away to a flying start with a converted try after 5 minutes, answered by a penalty to number eight Ashley Murphy after 15. Wests went further ahead with a try to lead 12-3 although the forward battle continued to be even and Perth-Bayswater had plenty of ball to work with. A second penalty to Ash Murphy just before half time had first grade trailling 12-6 at the break but right in the game. Referee Brendan Fitzgerald continued to be typically English with the whistle, giving Wests three more penalties to one from Ash Murphy for the 24-9 result. The second penalty was for a tackle that was late by nanoseconds, and Fitzgerald then sent off lock Matt Forster for some fairly inoffensive footwork. Even so Perth-Bayswater competed strongly and had attacking opportunities which the backs could not convert to points. Coach Jamie Hohapata will be looking to the second round, which starts in two weeks time after next week`s bye, for this young, capable team to start turning their strong performances into points.
Second grade gave Perth-Bayswater supporters something to cheer about with a close 21-18 win at Morley Reserve. Despite the win they remain a point behind Wests in fourth spot of the second grade ladder. The score included three tries, to lock Nathan Jacoby and centres Tony Sproule and Nathan Haturini, and three conversions to Man of the Match Matt Sefton. Best forward was Brendan McKeagg. All seconds` points were scored in the second half of this scrappy, wet game.
Third grade went down 7-27 to third-placed Wests in a wet and untidy game at Morley Reserve. With the team composed mostly of forwards, thirds controlled most of the possession and territory but Wests employed the better strategy in the conditions to lead 17-0 at half time. Thirds scored one converted try in the second half.
Fourths again played away from the rest of the club and struggled to field a team against Cottesloe at Harvey Field. With reinforcements from fifths they came close but went down 14-10 to the competition`s bottom team. Cott led 9-5 at half team with a try to Gary Rutene. A try to halfback Dennis Williams kept fourths going in the second half but Cott also scored a try for the 14-10 win.
The elite athletes of fifth grade kept the club fortunes riding high with yet another blazing win over the hapless Jesters, 26-14, at Morley Reserve. Tries were scored by lock Mike Plaister, Steve Weed Scholes, Darren Truncheon Horne, and someone who looked a bit like Fungus. Paul Sefton kicked three conversions. Somebody was also sent off but we can`t remember who or why. Tactical genius Mike Jones continues to maneouvre his talented charges towards their inevitable destiny with the grand final. Any man who can forget where he parked his car on a Wednesday night obviously has the kind of brain that can only breed success. The team sends love and kisses to ace strike weapon The Fridge who is on an autograph signing expedition in New Zealand.
| THE BIG ONE GOT AWAY |
| 3 June 2001 |
Perth-Bayswater lost only two games at Morley Reserve on 2 June -- including the one that mattered most, first grade. Perth-Bayswater first grade were in it for most of the game but faded toward the end to allow Cottesloe a flattering 30-13 win. Perth-Bayswater competed strongly on all fronts, scoring an intercept try to flyhalf Jason Ellery after 5 minutes, followed by a penalty to number eight Ashley Murphy after 14. It was not until close to half time that Cottesloe penetrated the resolute Perth-Bayswater defence with an unconverted try to trail 8-5 at half time. A converted try to Cottesloe after half time took them ahead 12-8 but Perth-Bayswater stormed back with a try to loosie Willy Rewiti and a narrow 13-12 lead. With twenty minutes on the clock Cottesloe found a three man overlap on the blind for a converted try and a 19-13 lead. A drop goal and a penalty followed for Cottesloe, taking them ahead 25-13 before a final late try sealed the game for them 30-13. In terms of play, though, Perth-Bayswater was on an equal footing and with a fraction more finishing could well have toppled the number two team in the WARU competition. Man of the match was elusive fullback Brett Watson.
Second grade made hard work of this game for much of the contest but came home with a hiss and a roar for a good 24-8 win. Inside centre Nathan Haturini opened the scoring with a penalty which was quickly answered by a Cottesloe penalty, the 3-3 score remaining until half time. Cottesloe opened the second half with a try to go ahead 8-3 but with 15 minutes remaining a strong attack by seconds realised a try to flyhalf Steve Wharerau, converted by Nathan Haturini for a 10-8 lead. Fullback Kerri finished off a sweeping backline attack to score under the posts with time running out, converted from in front by Nathan Haturini. Kerri wrapped up the match with an inspiring 50-yard try, converted from the sideline by Nathan Haturini for a whirlwind finish and a 24-8 win. Man of the Match was flanker Gareth Cherrington.
Third grade scored a big 39-12 win over Cottesloe, with club legend and former state lock Ken "Porridge" Angus scoring four tries, the final one a stunning length of the field effort. Coach Barry Guzder was furious at the number of his players filched by higher grades, leaving him with a makeshift team, but delighted with the attitude and commitment of the lads in dedicating themselves to this thoroughly commendable win. They played their hearts out, according to Baz, and finished the match dead on their feet. The score was 15-5 at half time and other tries were scored by Andrew Bartlett, Dylan Davies and Lyndon McKeagg. Man of the Match was prop Dale Hewson who kicked two conversions to round out the 39 points.
In another try scoring feast, flyhalf Grant "Fungus" Phillips bagged three touchdowns in this 20-10 win over the boys from Melville. Hooker Craig Roberston added the final try and there were no kicks from either side. Man of the Match was Lyndon McKeagg.
Fifth grade again completely outwitted the stars and legends of Nedlands` fifth grade by conceding a strategic 8-18 loss. It was all part of coaching wizard Mike Jones` master plan to prepare Neddies for their final downfall in the finals and it worked like a treat. Although he was hard pressed to hold back the awesome points-scoring machine that is Perth-Bayswater fifth grade, Jonesy fielded his secret weapon by bringing himself on when star centre Dwayne Barr suffered a blow to the nose and retired hurt to fix his make up. The plan yielded immediate results with backline play falling into disarray. After goal kicker Ian Hogg had dutifully missed four penalty attempts, Jonesy allowed himself a successful kick at goal to keep up appearances, trailing 15-3 at half time. Hoggy was permitted a brilliant 50 yard try in the second half while Nedlands were restricted to a single penalty. Man of the Match was lineout star Wayne Japie Campbell.
| TWO DAYS AND THREE GROUNDS |
| 20 May 2001 |
In a confusing weekend of rugby played on Friday and Saturday, at Kelmscott, Kingsway and Swanbourne, first grade handed over the wooden spoon to ARKs with a close 9-6 win away. Details are sketchy at this stage but it was all penalty kicks under lights on Friday night with first grade emerging from the encounter with a valuable 4 competition points to lift them off bottom place of the table. It will no doubt be onwards and upwards for this young and talented team from here on in.
Second grade returned to the winners circle with a 22-0 win over bottom-placed ARKs at Kelmscott. More details as they come to hand.
Barry Guzder`s third grade completed the top three results over the hapless Kelmscott club as they recorded a healthy 24-5 win over middle-of-the-table ARKs at Kelmscott on Saturday. Tries were scored by Dylan Davies playing at centre, lock Josh Fink, wing Matt Stewart and flanker Todd Adams. Flyhalf Nathan Haturini kicked two conversions. All the points were scored in the first half and ARKs came back strongly, throwing the kitchen sink at thirds who defended resolutely to concede just one try, in the process suffering a number of injuries including Man of the Match Ken Porridge Angus, and finishing the game short. Coach Barry Guzder was happy with the win and said that all the team played well. He thanked Jason Bastaja for supporting thirds, and he welcomed Troy Davies back to the club after some years absence.
Playing on Saturday at Allen Park, fourths succumbed to Associates by a huge 50-14. More details to follow.
In a disgraceful display of desperation, showing just what depths the club has sunk to, fifths could only field five reserves in the rain at Kingsway. Ably controlled by stand-in ref John Reti, the first half was a dour affair and finished without score. With one or two personnel changes and stirring words from coaching wizard Mike "Bread of Heaven" Jones, the team played with new resolve in the second half, eventually scoring what is undoubtedly the best try in any grade this year. Starting from fifths` own goal line the ball passed through fifteen pairs of hands as the team swept downfield and over the 22, wing Noel "the Flying Fridge" Spittal barging the defence aside and retaining possession for a mirror movement to the other side of the field and Wanneroo`s 22. With superb support and exquisite passing the ball swept across field again for a perfect try to big center Dwayne Barr close to the posts. Ian Hogg converted, and scored a try shortly after in the corner for a 12-0 lead. The Kiwi Kelvinator was back in the action for the final try with a huge run down the touchline culminating in a massive Maori sidestep straight through his opposite number before passing on to Richie to score. The game finished shortly after with a 17-0 win to Fantastic Fifths.
| BLACK DESERVE BETTER |
| 12 May 2001 |
Perth-Bayswater first grade deserved a better result than the 12-6 loss they achieved in poor weather at the Nedlands Foreshore. Most of the match was played in one half of the ground as the wind and rain swept in from the river. Perth-Bayswater controlled almost all possession and territory in the first half, keeping Nedlands pinned in their half, but did not capitalise on the mountain of ball. A single penalty to flyhalf Brett Watson gave them a 3-0 lead at half time, although both he and wing Michael Whitney missed three other easy penalties with the wind at their backs. The game reversed in the second half with Nedlands controlling the game with the wind behind them and although Perth-Bayswater had several forays on attack they did not threaten to penetrate Nedlands` defence at any stage. Likewise, the much-vaunted Nedlands attack failed to breach Perth-Bayswater`s committed defence. To Nedlands` relief, a steady stream of penalties flowed from the whistle of ref John Hill -- so no change there. Nedlands kicked one penalty just after half time, but Micheal Whitney replied with a penalty into the wind to regain the lead 6-3. Three more penalties to Nedlands as the half wore on gave them the match-winning 12-6 lead but even studded with ex-Perth-Bayswater players as they were, Nedlands could not find a five-pointer on the day. The young Perth-Bayswater side can take heart that they matched Nedlands in all departments but one. Man of the Match was relentless lock Cale McCourt.
With first grade weakened by injuries, seconds lost players without gaining any replacements and played with third graders filling in admirably. There was little joy in a rainswept Nedlands Foreshore and although they battled valiantly all day, seconds could not string together any scoring combinations. Neither side scored in the first half, but in the second half Nedlands scored three unconverted tries for a 15-0 win. Man of the Match for seconds was fierce Scots flanker Kenny Anderson.
A depleted third grade started slowly against Nedlands conceding three converted tries to trail 21-0 at half time. In the second half thirds recorded a strong comeback and dominated the later stages of the game completely. Young half back Dylan Davies, who later backed up superbly for seconds, scored under the posts from a scrum near the line, converted by Nathan Haturini and later in the game storming lock Ken Porridge Angus charged over for a try for a 21-12 losing score. It was a game of lost opportunities for thirds and a creditable effort with injuries, players promoted and players out of position. Man of the Match was tireless forward and captain, Lincoln Hefferen.
Mike Te Aute`s fourth grade provided some good news for the club at Nedlands Foreshore with a 16-12 win over Neddies. It was largely a forwards game in the conditions although the backs did their part with straight running, hitting the ball up hard. The sole try was scored by Fungus with a conversion and three penalties to ever-reliable flyhalf Steve Wharerau. Long line kicks from fullback Shane Brown made good use of the wind and kept Nedlands on defence. Man of the Match was halfback Corny.
With a commendable economy of effort, fifths scored the games entire points in the first two minutes with two unconvered tries to Dwayne Barr and Shalako Gardiner. The remaining fifty minutes of battle in the rain at Mount Lawley was without score although not without incident. Referee Holmes sin-binned one of the opposition and then called for bids to atone for this indiscretion by allowing Mt Lawley unlimited freedom with the laws of rugby. Several new boys graced the star-studded Perth-Bayswater lineup. A young chap by the name of Kelly Westaway, who brought his entire family along for the experience, performed admirably in the front row. A friend of Duane`s was also a welcome addition to the team, if only because the lads would like to see a lot more of his girlfriend. The Dannys -- Vella and Whitney -- were late additions to the team and contributed enormously. Man of the Match was Fungus, who thrived in the rain like all of the mushroom family.
| BLACK DAY FOR BLACK |
| 6 May 2001 |
Perth-Bayswater first grade were outgunned by a bigger, faster Kalamunda team at Hartfield, but they were also up against some unfortunate decisions and lapses of concentration. The contest was even early with enterprise from both sides and it was not until the 17th minute that a very suspect forward pass brought Kalamunda a try in the corner. Perth-Bayswater came back strongly on attack and flyhalf Brett Watson kicked a penalty in the 25th minute as Kalamunda set their pattern of play with constant infringements. Perth-Bayswater gifted Kalamunda with an immediate try with a very nonchalant soccer kick of the ball as it went ahead in goal, pounced on with delight by the Kalamunda backs. A scrum that screwed nearly 360 degrees was blithely ignored by referee Henry Egan, with Perth-Bayswater copping a penalty from the ensuing chaos which Kalamunda quickly converted to a converted try and a 17-3 lead. Kalamunda outran Perth-Bayswater`s defence out wide for their fourth try before half time, adding the conversion to lead 24-3 at the break. Another try by Kalamunda under the posts opened the second half but Perth-Bayswater struck back with a try to half back Clint Dodd and a 31-8 scoreline. Two more tries to Kalamunda took them ahead 43-8 as Perth-Bayswater had few answers to their pace out wide but the boys in black fought back in the last 15 minutes with a series of strong attacks. Kalamunda`s penalties continued to flow and one of their front row received a yellow card for his pains. A tap penalty led to a second driving try to Clint Dodd but the conversion was missed from right in front. Perth-Bayswater finished strongly on attack despite the losing 43-8 score.
A converted try to Kalamunda opened this game but it took another half an hour for them to add to the score, with two more converted tries before half time. They led 21-0 at the break and added a fourth converted try shortly after before second grade number eight Ashley Murphy stormed over for a try. Kalmaunda resumed business with two more tries and a 40-5 lead before prop Glenn Nolan crashed over for a try, converted by halfback Michael Whitney for a 40-12 loss. Man of the Match was elusive back Patrice.
Coach Barry Guzder was not a happy man after this match, with Kalamunda edging out thirds 22-20. He felt they should have won this game despite again playing with players out of position, carrying injuries and giving away penalties. Thirds finished strongly on attack but the referee blew the second half up after 31 minutes, leaving an unplayed penalty hanging and depriving thirds of a vital attacking opportunity. Tries went to Luke Grossmith, Todd Adam and Troy Morgan, with flyhalf Nathan Haturini kicking a conversion and a penalty. Good games from Josh Fink, Porridge and JT, while man of the match was halfback Dylan, with a special mention for his heroic on-field chunder.
The confusion continued with yet another fourth grade draw relocating fourths from Nedlands to Cottesloe at the last minute. Already struggling to make numbers, fourths fielded a team with fifth-graders who had already played at Nedlands and extras to play Cottesloe at Harvey Field. No details have been recieved yet of their 24-12 loss.
The gods, heroes and legends of Nedlands fifth grade, premiers of this grade since before the turn of the century, fell prey to the diabolical cunning of master coach Mike the Leek Jones and exposed themselves to a 27-5 win over the magnificent boys in black. Fifth`s sole try to wing Adrian Hughes came early in the piece, and having established their absolute mastery, fifths proceeded to totally flummox Neddies and successfully lulled them into a false sense of security by conceding 27 points. The team was aided by some guest appearances by fourths coach Mike Te Aute and Kelvin Westaway, who wisely contributed to the match from the sidelines. The team suffered from the absence of President and second row Steve Fink, swilling down red wine in the vineyards of France, but a suitable replacement was found in Man of the Match Mike Plaister, who played superbly. South African lineout ace Wayne Japie Campbell took pity on Nedlands` unfortuate condition and did not embarrass them by scoring a try this week. The referee was not so discerning, contributing to Neddies` cause with a laughable penalty try late in the game from some offence at a ruck where the likelihood of them scoring was roughly the same as the ref winning lotto that night. Gracious as ever in victory, a Nedlands team member was heard to complain loudly that "at least we didn`t need to play second graders like Perth-Bayswater". Jeez, are our second grade in trouble.
Colts were unable to field a team for the third time in four weeks and questions will now be asked about terminating this team in view of the seeming impossibility of finding 15 under 19 players who are not too busy sitting on their arses watching TV at home.
| BRINGING HOME THE BACON |
| 29 April 2001 |
In a close and thrilling game at Morley Reserve, Perth-Bayswater established an early lead and defended tenaciously against a determined Palmyra team to claim their first win for the season. Livewire flanker Gareth Cherrington followed up a charged down kick to score early in the first half, converted by Otago import Brett Watson, playing at flyhalf this week. Perth-Bayswater played with structure and purpose, the light but dynamic forward pack leading the way and the backs playing with direction and attitude. Palmyra kicked a penalty late in the first half but two penalties to Brett Watson wrapped up the half with a 13-3 lead to Perth-Bayswater. Palmyra played with renewed spirit in the second half and with Perth-Bayswater`s lineouts in all sorts of trouble and the scrum under severe pressure, the team was forced into a defensive role. Palmyra claimed a second penalty and then scored a try when a forward pass by Perth-Bayswater led to a turnover close to their line. At 13-11 the game was wide open but continuing solid defence and a will to win maintained Perth-Bayswater`s lead. Palmyra had a late chance with a handy penalty but flagged it away and the final whistle brought immense relief and great pleasure to the players and supporters. Standout players were halfback Clint Dodd, captain Darren Murphy who led by example throughout, league convert Eugene Maxwell in the second row, and Man of the Match Brett Watson.
Second grade looked a shadow of their normal selves in a disappointing match against Palmyra at Morley Reserve. With a scrum in reverse gear and the backs lacking combination and direction, second grade conceded two converted tries to trail 14-0 in the first half. Two more tries to Palmyra early in the second half took them ahead to 28-0 until an intercept try to centre Willy Owen saved some face for seconds, converted by flyhalf Michael Whitney. Michael Whitney kicked a late penalty to raise the score to 28-10 as seconds enjoyed a late resurgence but with too many mistakes and indifferent possession, time ran out and the score remained at 28-10. Man of the Match was Willy Owen.
Third grade ran on with a bare team and lacking some players and immediately got themselves into trouble, conceding three converted tries in the first twenty minutes. At 21-0 down and with injuries which the team could not afford, thirds received a helping hand from club stalwarts such as the flying fridge, Noel Spittal, and with an increased effort fought back with tries to outside centre Nitama Reiri and lock Mike McKnight, while flyhalf Nathan Haturini kicked two penalties. Palmyra, who look like the team to beat in third grade, scored another try in the first half and a bag more points in the second half to win the game 43-16. Third grade`s lack of preparation continues to sabotage their efforts and coach Barry Guzder had a number of very interesting words on the subject, which the players will no doubt be hearing at training this week. Man of the Match was Aaron Simpson.
Mike Te Aute`s fourth grade suffered their first loss of the season with a makeshift team going down 19-5 to Palmyra, three tries to one. Fourths` try came from lock Nathan Jacoby. The team started short but tried hard throughout and were unlucky not to gain more points. The half time score was 12-5 and Man of the Match was Shalako Gardiner.
Mike Jones` team of dedicated athletes and peak performers continued to set the club standards with a strong 38-24 win over a capable Palmyra unit at Morley Reserve. Tries to legend of the valleys Mike Jones and star try-scoring lock Wayne Japie Campbell in near-miraculous circumstances led the way, and tries to Ken Porridge Angus, dirty great constable Darren Horne, centre Shalako Gardiner and hooker Craig Robertson contributed to the score, along with four conversions from the golden boot of Goose. The score was 12-12 at half time. No mention at all will be made of Craig Robertson`s well-meaning efforts to throw straight to the half back in lineouts, or of Paul Sefton`s marvellous belief in his forwards by ignoring a five man overlap and running back into the pack. Man of the Match was Darren Horne.
Colts finally fielded a team after a concerted effort in all quarters, and went on to defeat Wanneroo 22-17. More details as they come to hand. Man of the Match was Michael Murphy.
| HARD LESSONS AGAINST UNI |
| 22 April 2001 |
Perth-Bayswater first grade fell well short of the mark in a slow and disjointed game against University, eventually going down 30-8. University scored two early penalties but after 20 minutes a storming try to big number eight Fale Seve brought Perth-Bayswater close at 6-5. Ten minutes later a drop goal took Uni ahead 9-5 and a third penalty rounded out the half to give Uni a 12-5 lead at the break. Early in the second half Uni broke through for a try aided by the complete absence of anything resembling a tackle from the Perth-Bayswater defence, but within minutes a Michael Whitney drop goal gave Perth-Bayswater a glimmer of hope at 19-8. The glimmer faded as basic errors cost two more penalties and a late try to Uni, handing them a 30-8 win. The forwards competed well with dynamic performances from Fale Seve and Man of the Match, young openside flank Gareth Cherrington. The backs lacked vision and combination, and failed to maintain possession on too many occasions. However, the team remains a young and talented unit that with some first grade exprience under their belts will be a genuine threat.
Seconds snatched victory from the jaws of defeat in a last-minute thriller at McGillivray Oval. Uni were first on the board with an early try but an incisive thrust by halfback and captain Clint Dodd from a tap penalty brought a try after 30 minutes to draw the score at 5 all. There was no further score in a mistake-ridden first half and it was 20 minutes into the second spell before lock Jason Legs Bastaja finished off a series of forward charges to score in the corner and gain a 10-5 lead for Perth-Bayswater seconds. Uni answered with a converted try with 15 minutes on the clock and although they battled hard, seconds failed to make further inroads as time ran out. In the dying seconds of injury time wing Steve Nicholson hoisted a huge up and under and in the ensuing kick and chase canny Kenny Anderson won the race to the ball, securing a last gasp win for seconds. Steve Nicholson added the extras with a conversion and ref blew full time.
Third grade went down to Uni in a disappointing 19-15 loss at McGillivray Oval. Man of the Match lock Josh Fink scored two tries and flyhalf Nathan Haturini kicked a penalty and a conversion. A younger, fitter Uni had the better of the game and in particular bad tackling by Thirds cost them the game. The message from coach Barry Guzder is that thirds must get to training on Tuesdays and gain vital fitness if they are to compete successfully.
A good clean game against Uni brought fourths their second success in a row with a 24-21 winning score. Tries were scored by lock Mike Hillyer, loosie JT Thompson, Mike Te Aute and Jeremy Lamb. Flyhalf Steve Wharerau kicked two conversions. The score was 17-10 at half time and Mike Hillyer was named man of the match.
The awesome points-scoring machine that is Perth-Bayswater fifth grade scorched their way up and down McGillivray Oval for a huge 65-0 win over the hapless Uni team, proving that extreme dedication to fitness and a coach with a command of strategy bordering on genius form an irresistable combination. Eleven tries were scored in the process, and those claiming them included barnstorming flanker Dwayne Barr, the flying fridge Noel Spittall (2), prop/halfback Paul Sefton (2), legend of the high veldt Wayne Japie Campbell, newcomer Wayne Bennett (2), crafty hooker Craig Robertson and centre Shalako Gardiner. Coach and tactical wizard Mike "Boyo" Jones scored a try but it was disallowed by the referee. Sources close to the team say that a Pakistani bookmaker may have been involved. Man of the Match was fullback Adrian Hughes for his very impressive impersonation of a headless chook and the team was also blessed by a rare personal appearance by TV star Crocodile Bob Cooper. The score was 40-0 at half time.
Colts unfortunately forfeited their second match, casting the viability of this team into doubt. It remains a source of disappointment that year after year of successful junior teams cannot translate into one team of colts, particularly when only two can be bothered turning up for training.
| PROMISING START TO SEASON |
| 8 April 2001 |
First grade went down 11-22 to Associates in a tight game at Morley Reserve. Playing in perfect autumn weather, the two teams exchanged the lead several times and there was just one point in it with ten minutes on the clock. In the final stanza, Soaks used their size to make telling inroads and scored two late tries for a late but deserved win. Soaks scored first, after fifteen minutes, when one of their loose forwards touched down behind the posts from a tap penalty. The try was converted. Within three minutes debutante flyhalf Michael Whitney kicked a penalty for a 7-3 scoreline. That remained the score for most of the half as Soaks enjoyed a long period of attack. Dogged defence by Perth-Bayswater and poor handling by Soaks deprived them of any further score and it was Perth-Bayswater that scored next when inside centre Brett Watson touched down from his own chip kick against the run of play. Perth-Bayswater led 8-7 at the break and until the mid stage of the second half when a big outside run by Soaks` fullback brought them a try in the corner and a 12-8 lead. The boot of Michael Whitney restored the one point gap five minutes later with a penalty kick but two late tries to Soaks sealed the game for them 22-11. It was a good all round game for Perth-Bayswater athough outweighed by the bigger Soaks outfit, with good support from the loosies and excellent defence for most of the match. The backs were inventive and sharp. Perth-Bayswater dropped two certain opportunities and the score flattered Soaks at the end of the day. Top games from Darren Murphy, flanker Gareth Cherrington, prop Ian Simpson and fullback Bronson Te Aute. Man of the Match was barging centre Dave Watene. The match was ably reffed by John Hill.
An uneventful first half with early-season mistakes and solid defence went without score until the dying minutes, when wing Steve Nicholson scored for a 5-0 half time lead to Perth-Bayswater seconds. Three quick tries in the early part of the second half wrapped the game up for seconds, with big loosie Fale Seve scoring, an excellent backline attack across the width of the pitch resulting in a second try to wing Steve, and the final try to the ever-mercurial Gary Rutene on the other wing for a good 20-0 win. It was an excellent game despite some problems with ball retention. Best forward was Legs and Man of the Match was flyhalf Jason Ellery. A good win first up for coaches Darryn Pomare and Andy Keen. The match was well reffed by Barty Hallowell.
Thirds worked hard in the first half with two penalties to flyhalf Nathan Haturini gradually clawing back the lead after Soaks` early try which came from poor handling by Thirds, for a narrow 6-3 lead at half time. Coach Barry Guzder deployed the big guns in the second half with Hector George and Ken Porridge Angus coming on for some huge, barging runs. A penalty to Nathan Haturini took Thirds ahead 9-5 until Porridge drove over under the posts from a tap penalty and Nathan Haturini converted for the match winning 16-5 lead. It was a good win with three forwards playing in the backs. Coach Barry Guzder thanked hooker Craig Robertson for a fine performance and named impressively mobile prop Dale Hewson as Man of the Match.
Coach Mike Te Aute fielded a makeshift team for the season opener, as is usual in fourth grade, but with great contributions by some old stalwarts and some new finds, the team wound out an impressive 40-19 win. Tries were scored by lock Nathan Jacoby and wing Gary Rutene, two by hooker Craig Robertson, while flyhalf Steve Wharerau scored one try and kicked five conversions. Man of the Match was Nathan Jacoby.
Again blessed by the incisive stragetical talents of master coach Mike Jones, Filthy Fifths went from strength to strength in their opening game of the season, showing just what intensive pre-season preparation will do for a crack unit such as this. A try to centre Shalako Gardiner started the ball rolling although Soaks replied with a converted try, but inside centre Tuma replied with a try, converted by Ian Hogg, for a 12-7 half time lead. A dazzling try by lock and athletic legend Wayne Japie Campbell followed, blazing a trail from half way, casting defenders off as he went, for a try that may well go down in fifth grade history to wrap the game up 17-7. Coach Mike Jones claimed that despite the overtraining and the poor weather the scene has been set for the season and he is offering 3-1 odds on a grand final spot. Man of the Match was awesome flanker Dwayne Barr.
Colts unfortunately forfeited due to lack of numbers but played a game with some help from Soaks extras and the Under 17 team. Coach Bruce Mathieson is hopeful of picking up the numbers for a competitve season.
| TWILIGHT TENS FINALS |
| 10 March 2001 |
The final night of MORLEY ALEHOUSE TWILIGHT TENS at Perth-Bayswater for 2001 saw a full program of 13 matches, culminating in the Div 1 Final won by Kalamunda over ARKs.
The matches were:
6.15 Prelim Final A (Div 1)
Cottesloe won when Nedlands forfeited
Prelim Final (Div 2)
Midland won when Joondalup forfeited
6.40 Prelim Final B (Div 1)
University 22 Perth-Bayswater 12
Semi-final B (Div 2)
Kalamunda 24 Perth-Bayswater 0
7.05 Semi-final B (Div 1)
Kalamunda 17 Cottesloe 5
Semi-final A (Div 2)
Nedlands 45 Midland 0
7.30 Semi-final A (Div 1)
ARKs 12 University 7
Golden Oldies
Wanderers drew with Old Golds in the best traditions
8.00 Colts Final
University 14 Perth-Bayswater 5
Play-off (Div 2)
Perth-Bayswater 19 Midland 14
8.30 Final (Div 2)
Nedlands 24 d Kalamunda 5
Play-off (Div 1)
University won when Cottesloe forfeited
9.00 Final (Div 1)
Kalamunda 10 ARKs 5
Thanks to Andrew Hine of Morley Alehouse, and Razorback, for their sponsorship of this event. Thanks to all competitors and supporters.
| SCRATCH MATCHES |
| 21 February 2001 |
Four pre-season games are planned before the start of the competition on April 7.
They are:
March 15 v Joondalup
March 17 v University
March 24 v Kalamunda
March 31 v Nedlands
These matches are trial games and an opportunity for players to gain match fitness and stake their claim on a spot up the grades. All players welcome.
| TWILIGHT TENS |
| 21 February 2001 |
Perth-Bayswater`s Morley Alehouse Twilight Tens kick off again this year under lights on Friday night February 23 at Morley Reserve.
There are three divisions this year: first division, second division and colts.
In a new format, the Twilight Tens will continue on Friday night March 2 with the finals on Friday night March 9.
The draw for the first night is:
6.15
Joondalup v Kalamunda Div 2 (field 1)
Nedlands v Perth-Bayswater Colts (field 2)
6.40
ARKs v Kalamunda Div 1 (field 1)
Cottesloe v Nedlands Div 1 (field 2)
7.05
Nedlands v Midland Div 2 (field 1)
University v Perth-Bayswater Colts (field 2)
7.30
Nedlands v University Div 1 (field 1)
Kalamunda v Perth-Bayswater Div 2 (field 2)
7.55
Kalamunda v Perth-Bayswater Div 1 (field 1)
Nedlands v University Colts (field 2)
8.20
Cottesloe v University Div 1 (field 1)
Joondalup v Midland Div 2 (field 2)
8.55
ARKs v Perth-Bayswater Div 1 (field 1)
Perth-Bayswater v Nedlands Div 2 (field 2)
| PRE-SEASON TRAINING |
| 4 January 2001 |
Pre-season training continues at 6.30 pm on Tuesdays and Thursdays at Morley Reserve, Wellington Raod, Morley.
Training is run by first grade coach and former state coach, Jamie Hohapata, a professional fitness instructor and former fitness instructor with the NZ Royal Navy.
All players are invited to attend. Fitness at this stage of the season is vital to first round success in the competition.