12 September 2009
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| Campo had the goosestep; Barr Fridge has the kangaroo hop |
Filthy Fifths bowed out of the competition with their usual preliminary final chaos, losing to Wests-Subiaco 17-11 and blowing a huge first half territorial dominance -- including three near-certain tries -- along the way.
Wrong options and inexplicable lapses of focus at key times repeatedly gifted Wests with attacking opportunities, and as if that wasn’t enough, Lady Luck turned her back on the stalwarts in black while showering kisses on the pretenders in the puce, pearl and marigold fashionwear.
Perth opened strongly and blew an early scoring opportunity when the overlap was ignored leaving Dallas The Star Godlieb begging for a try. However, flyhalf Shane Barr Fridge came good with an angled penalty shot five minutes in for an early 3-0 lead.
Perth dominated possession and territory to pin Wests in their half but despite several outstanding chances, failed to penetrate and Barr Fridge missed a second penalty chance from in front after 13 minutes. However, Barr Fridge made no mistake with a closer kick two minutes later when Wests came in the side of a ruck, Perth leading 6-0.
Then from a lineout five metres out after 23 minutes, Perth had a perfect attacking opportunity but turned over in front of the posts and Wests kicked clear.
With Bert Two Left Feet dominating at the front of the lineout and flankers Charlie “Toots” Tutuvaha and Conrad “God” Kovacs an overpowering force in the loose, Perth continued to totally control territory and possession but with minimal return for their efforts.

Instead, Wests worked back downfield with the help of a couple of penalties and when Perth wildly fumbled the ball backwards, Wests forwards drove over for a try in the corner after 27 minutes.
At this juncture an ill-mannered spectator responsible for several unseemly jibes was invited onto the field to discuss the finer points by prop Roger Haturini. Oddly the invitation was not accepted as the half time whistle sounded and Perth took a 6-5 lead into the break, a very meager return for their dominance of the game.
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| Bert Borthwell owns the front of the lineout. |
Wests opened the second spell strongly and turned the territory tables to lock Perth in their half, and when Perth did work downfield they turned over lineout ball several times to throw away ideal positions.
The game vacillated wildly from end to end as the players lost their bearings under the effects of extreme fatigue, until from a Perth free kick five metres out big prop Tom Hughes thumped over for a try beside the posts. Barr Fridge bounced the conversion off the posts after 20 minutes but Perth led 11-5.
Wests missed a long range penalty a couple of minutes later but a kick through and an unbelievably jammy bounce right back into the unfeasibly lucky player’s arms presented them with a gift try with eight minutes to play, and they added the easy conversion to draw ahead 12-11.
A penalty for obstruction with five minutes on the clock gave another Perth ideal position but they couldn’t spoil a perfect record and were duly penalised in the ruck, and Wests shot downfield where Perth mis-handling gave them another try on a platter to wrap up the game. They somehow missed the sitter conversion for a 17-11 lead but Perth was unable to break through in the remaining few minutes.
Filthy Fifths headed for the showers, the beers and the famous Westaway-Campbell barbecue extravaganza secure in the knowledge that the Perth-Bayswater legend had been upheld, and the Wests-Subiaco Latte XV had been duped into appearing in the grand final for the annual loss to Nedlands 1999 First Grade aka Nedlands 2009 Fourth Grade.

