18 April 2010
Perth-Bayswater first grade lost heavily to premiers Cottesloe at Pat O'Hara Reserve, 60-5 yesterday. In other grades against Cottesloe, seconds went down 36-13, thirds lost 38-5, fourths won 17-10, Under 20s won 30-25 and Under 18s lost 32-8.
The Filthy Fifths (Fourth Grade) kicked off their 2010 campaign taking on Cottesloe at home on a very warm autumn afternoon. The team was largely unchanged from last year, although the departure of the Dummy Spitter to try and calm the shores of Christmas Island, allowed the entrance of Robbie ‘Bling’ Rua at flyhalf, while Jeff chimed in at fullback. Tony Pepperoni’s late arrival delayed his long awaited run with the princesses in the backline. The boys marched straight on the attack and were applying pressure across the paddock, with Winston unlucky to be held up under the posts. Cottesloe were getting the ball wide to their underaged and speedy wingers, and Dwain ‘The Train’ Barr was kept very busy covering some suspect backline defence, coming up with numerous great try saving tackles. To make sure things didn’t change too much, Perth continually gave away penalties at the breakdown, and were fortunate Cott’s goal kicker failed to convert two very simple opportunities right in front. George Toots who must be at least 80 by now used up his lotto ticket for the year, miraculously avoiding a yellow card when a Cott player decided to headbutt his forearm. It was evident that the boys hadn’t spent too much time together with timing and moves all a little astray, but Robbie Bling settled in quickly, marshalling the boys and getting them out of trouble with a big right boot. Perth were on the attack again, however Cott’s defence was holding strong until five minutes before halftime when a great tighthead (one of many for Bushy for the day!) saw Barney crash over out wide off the back of the scrum. 5-0 Perth. Perth had obviously thought it was good enough for halftime already, and Cott spun the ball wide again and ran around the disjointed Perth defence to dot down under the sticks. This time the Cott kicker found his range, and it was 7-5 Cott at half time.
Phil "Legend of the Valleys" Oliver gathered the troops at half time and got the boys concentrating on their strengths and using the set plays to their advantage. The heat was taking its toll, and there were a lot of weary legs out there. The introduction of Handsome Danny Vella before half time gave the Perth pack some go forward, and he was at his rampaging best in the second half, demanding a lift from the Perth boys. Discipline again let the Perth boys down, and when Cott took the three points from right in front, Perth were staring down the barrel of defeat. 10-5 Cott. A see-sawing battle unfolded with neither team really threatening each other’s line, although Bert "Two Left Feet" Bothwell dominatedthe lineout, and the piggies were taking control of the scrum. After some rampaging runs from Tony Pepperoni and Cliffy Manboobs Mataseni, Perth were gifted a penalty 10 metres out. A quick tap and the two bookends of Danny Vella and the Copper running as dumb (I mean dummy) runners, allowed Shane ‘Public’ Barr to scoot over. He converted his own try, and Perth were in front 12-10 with 5 minutes to go. There were lots of weary legs, and gaps were opening up around the fringes, and the Perth boys went on the march again. After some cheap yards down the blindside from a scrum and some sustained pressure saw another penalty awarded to Perth about 10 metres out. Another quick tap and two phases later saw Handsome Danny Vella rewarded with a try of his own which went unconverted. Fifths took it out 17-10, and were happy to put their first win in the bank for 2010.