Here we get a fantastic view of the foreshore and city centre from the city's big green patch, King's Park. On the right is the Swan River, a slow and shallow stretch of water as is common in Western Australia which is generally as flat as pommy beer. You can stand up in most of the river, which is an interesting experience late at night on a wine cruise. The park next to the river is Langley Park, where Perth Rugby Club once played home games. That was before we got the push out to Morley and became Perth-Bayswater. If you have a good imagination you can see the lights of the WACA cricket ground on the extreme right and behind them is the Burswood Resort and Casino. A lot of fun if you like giving away money.
Now we're in the Hay Street Mall, one of two pedestrian malls in the city centre. Yes girls, lots of shopping arcades run off to either side. There's trains and buses in all directions, so don't worry about the transport. A good thing too, because Perth drivers are diabolical, although the traffic is hardly ever busy — Perth residents think they've been in a traffic jam if they have to wait two minutes for the lights to change. Forget about the taxis though, you've got a better chance of winning lotto than catching a taxi late at night in the weekend. Perth taxi drivers think they're an endangered species so they try to avoid human contact at all costs.
Just off the Murray Street Mall we have the Moon and Sixpence, a traditional "British Pub", complete with rustic interior and poms in silly uniforms behind the bar. However, a fine range of pommy beer is on offer, and a bloke can get a pint of Young's Ramrod and stand outside in the Perth winter sunshine and wonder what the big yellow thing in the sky is and how come brass monkeys are walking by with a full set of equipment and why the air is not thick with descending moisture. On the other hand, by comparison with the superior British version, Australian pubs generally are a complete waste of time -- most of them look like prison outhouses and don't smell much better either. All formica, brown carpet and cheap brewery promotional posters. So this one makes a welcome change.
Nothing like a nice pint of Old Speckled Hen in the sunshine at the Moon and Sixpence on a Sunday afternoon. Some of scenery's not too bad either — no, not these old drunks sucking back booze under the umbrellas, I mean the delcious young nymphettes trotting past in the tiny little mini skirts that seem to be in fashion over here. Like the one that old bald bugger on the left is probably staring at. Dirty old man. Maybe there's a fabric shortage in Western Australia. Or maybe it's hot and they fancy a bit of a breeze around the affected parts. OK, let's leave that train of thought right there or I'll need another cold beer.
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